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Monster tierlist

Rating all (obtainable) Monster Energy drinks.

Published
Updated

Monster Energy is an ubiquitous energy drink [1] that has something of a cult following. I'm not huge on energy drinks; prior to this tierlist I'd only ever drunk one Red Bull. However, the irresistible design of the cans, wide range of flavours and suggestions of my friend had tipped me over. Now, here I am, in the process of drinking every Monster I can get my hands on.

Drink names will be listed as they appear on the cans I buy, which does differ per country. [2]

So far, I've drank 46 different flavours.

Tierlist

Top

Refreshing, amazing or otherwise pleasant. These are cans I would recommend to others and actively choose to drink again.

Reserve White Pineapple

Smooth carbonated sweet pineapple juice. Imagine the pineapple liquid from tinned pineapple in sugar water but diluted and carbonated.

Reserve Orange Dreamsicle

Tastes like a fizzy orange pop-up ice cream. Despite it's sweetness, it's quite nice and refreshing. Smells and tastes as orange as it looks.

Zero Sugar Lewis Hamilton

Very refreshing smooth sweet drink. Supposedly stone fruits but I cannot tell which ones specifically.

Ultra

Refreshing sweet and tangy mango passion fruit taste.

Ultra Gold

Fizzy refreshing pineapple juice. It's very light and refreshing, very tasty!

Great

Cans that I don't mind drinking but not necessarily would go out of my way of buying.

Ultra Black

Despite the name, Ultra Black is deep purple. Tastes like carbonated blackberry cordial, quite nice.

Juiced Khaotic

When opened, has that distinct Red Bull smell; first can to do so. Drink itself smells exactly like the Orange Dreamsicle, but the flavour is far more muted. It's nice but very unusual given how similar it tastes to Orange Dreamsicle.

Juiced Monarch

Peachy greatness. Sadly the Monster sourness makes this slightly less tasty.

Java Mean Bean

Very sweet and creamy "coffee". Unusually thick and probably closer to a Starbucks frappuchino than a Boss Rainbow Mountain. Pretty good.

Java Irish Crème

Very sweet, but less compared to Mean Bean. Has a Baileys-like flavour and mouthfeel but without the alcohol.

Juice Viking Berry

A surprisingly refreshing blackcurrant drink. Doesn't have that signature Monster taste, nor is it very sparkly. Very much reminds me of a sparkling cordial.

Rehab Green Tea

Has a particularly strong tea smell. Kinda reminds me of Arizona Ice Tea. It's actually quite nice though has an odd sweet aftertaste.

Mid

Cans that are not great or uninspiring.

VR46 aka "The Doctor"

Not much flavour. Hints of what I think might be citrus or mango, but mostly a plain sweet-sour taste.

Nitro Cosmic Peach

Surprisingly little flavour. Tastes like carbonated water (funny, given it's nitrous oxide) with hints of peach.

Assault

Smells and looks like a coke but tastes like cheap cola candy. Has an unusual aftertaste that I can't place.

Zero Sugar Lando Norris

Has the exact same colour as the can. Tastes like carbonated soft and chewy watermelon candy.

Ultra Strawberry Dream

Smells better than it tastes. Has a hint of American strawberry flavour. Not much else to say, really.

Ultra Peachy Keen

Strongly carbonated with a mild peachy aftertaste. There's an unusual flavour that I can't really describe; maybe similar to the Nitro Cosmic Peach?

Ultra Rosá

Very sweet and tangy in an artificial sort of way. It's too loud for my taste.

Ultra Fiesta Mango

Despite having mango in the name, the smell is more reminiscent of grapefruit. Tastes like sour generic tropical fruit juice but carbonated.

Ultra Watermelon

Very sweet and sour watermelon flavour. Tastes like a liquid sour patch.

Juiced Ripper

Really nice fruity flavour but then hits with that classic Monster taste. So close to being amazing.

Juiced Punch Mixxd

Lightly carbonated fruit punch. Tastes like Capri-Sun Fruit Punch but less... intense? The flavour feels very watered down compared to the other flavours. It's not particularly carbonated, sweet or flavourful. Painfully mid.

Juiced Pacific Punch

Has an unusual coconut-y and mango flavour but mostly dominated by sourness. Reminds me of carbonated Capri-Sun Tropical.

Ultra Vice Guava

Doesn't really taste like anything, mostly a sour-ish fruity flavour? It's not particularly refreshing but it's not awful either.

Ultra Fantasy Ruby Red

Artificially sweet but doesn't taste like anything in particular. Reminds me of American candy, in a good way. It's not inspiring but it's not bad either.

Ultra Blue Hawaiian

Surprisingly mild given it's pungent smell. Doesn't really taste like anything particularly.

Espresso Triple Shot

Strong espresso coffee with a slightly sour milky aftertaste. Has no distinct coffee notes and tastes pretty average.

Killer Brew Loca Moca

A rather sweet mocha coffee that doesn't taste like coffee nor chocolate. It's easy to drink and has a pleasant sweetness but no particular strong flavours.

Bad

These are cans that I do not enjoy and will hopefully never drink again.

Original

The original Monster Energy. Smells and tastes kinda like an Ola Rocket. It doesn't have much flavour to it.

Reserve Watermelon

Tastes like nothing, then hits with a really strong artificial sweet watermelon. Not great.

Nitro Super Dry

Unusual dry carbonated mouthfeel and flavour. Has a sour-ish fruity taste. Not something I'd want to drink again.

Ultra Blue

Very artificial flavour what I assume is supposed to be nice. Awful.

Ultra Violet

Smells and tastes like artificial berries (blueberry / raspberry possibly?) but in a bad way. Has that really awful artificial sweetener aftertaste.

Java Salted Caramel

Imagine the sweetest supermarket iced coffee, distill that, then add salted caramel syrup and you get an approximation of what this tastes like. I'm not sure why this is considered coffee; at best this is an excruciatingly sweet caramel milkshake.

Java 300 French Vanilla

Tastes like a watered down artificial coffee milkshake. Thoroughly disappointing. Unrelated, it exploded in my face when I opened it. And what exactly makes it French?

Awful

Cans that I couldn't bring myself to finish.

Absolutely Zero

Imagine Original, but worse. Has less flavour and a bad sour aftertaste. First can I did not finish. Big respect for the people who enjoy this one.

Juiced Rio Punch

Artificial gumball flavour with a awful plastic-y aftertaste. What I imagine battery acid would taste like. Genuinely awful.

Collection

Despite having drunk many different flavours, I'm still missing (at least) 13 flavours:

  1. Here in Europe↩Jump back to footnote 1

  2. The Juiced series is called Juice in America, for example↩Jump back to footnote 2

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