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Monster tierlist

Rating all (obtainable) Monster Energy drinks.

Published
Revised

Monster Energy is an ubiquitous energy drink [1] that has something of a cult following. I'm not huge on energy drinks; prior to this tierlist I'd only ever drunk one Red Bull. However, the irresistible design of the cans, wide range of flavours and suggestions of my friend had tipped me over. Now, here I am, in the process of drinking every Monster I can get my hands on.

Drink names will be listed as they appear on the cans I buy, which does differ per country. [2]

So far, I've drank 36 different flavours.

Tierlist

Top

Refreshing, amazing or otherwise pleasant. These are cans I would recommend to others and actively choose to drink again.

Reserve White Pineapple
Smooth carbonated sweet pineapple juice. Imagine the pineapple liquid from tinned pineapple in sugar water but diluted and carbonated.
Reserve Orange Dreamsicle
Tastes like a fizzy orange pop-up ice cream. Despite it's sweetness, it's quite nice and refreshing. Smells and tastes as orange as it looks.
Zero Sugar Lewis Hamilton [4]
Very refreshing smooth sweet drink. Supposedly stone fruits but I cannot tell which ones specifically.
Ultra
Refreshing sweet and tangy mango passion fruit taste.
Ultra Paradise
Refreshingly sweet and sour apple taste.
Ultra Gold
Fizzy refreshing pineapple juice. It's very light and refreshing, very tasty!
Juiced Mango Loco
Delicious sweet carbonated mango juice.
Juiced Aussie Style Lemonade
It's caffeinated fizzy lemonade. What's not to love?

Great

Cans that I don't mind drinking but not necessarily would go out of my way of buying.

Ultra Black
Despite the name, Ultra Black is deep purple. Tastes like carbonated blackberry cordial, quite nice.
Juiced Monarch
N/a
Java Mean Bean
Very sweet and creamy "coffee". Unusually thick and probably closer to a Starbucks frappuchino than a Boss Rainbow Mountain. Pretty good.
Java Loca Moca
Very smooth and creamy chocolaty coffee.
Java Irish Crème
Very sweet, but less compared to Mean Bean. Has a Bayleys-like flavour and mouthfeel but without the alcohol.
Rehab Green Tea
Has a particularly strong tea smell. Kinda reminds me of Arizona Ice Tea. It's actually quite nice though has an odd sweet aftertaste.

Mid

Cans that are not great or uninspiring.

VR46 aka "The Doctor"
Not much flavour. Hints of what I think might be citrus or mango, but mostly a plain sweet-sour taste.
Nitro Cosmic Peach
Surprisingly little flavour. Tastes like carbonated water (funny, given it's nitrous oxide) with hints of peach.
Assault
Smells and looks like a coke but tastes like cheap cola candy. Has an unusual aftertaste that I can't place.
Zero Sugar Lando Norris
Has the exact same colour as the can. Tastes like carbonated soft and chewy watermelon candy.
Ultra Strawberry Dream
Smells better than it tastes. Has a hint of American strawberry flavour. Not much else to say, really.
Ultra Peachy Keen
Strongly carbonated with a mild peachy aftertaste. There's an unusual flavour that I can't really describe; maybe similar to the Nitro Cosmic Peach?
Ultra Rosá
Very sweet and tangy in an artificial sort of way. It's too loud for my taste.
Ultra Fiesta Mango
Despite having mango in the name, the smell is more reminiscent of grapefruit. Tastes like sour generic tropical fruit juice but carbonated.
Ultra Watermelon
N/a
Juiced Ripper
Really nice fruity flavour but then hits with that classic Monster taste. So close to being amazing.
Juiced Punch Mixxd
Lightly carbonated fruit punch. Tastes like Capri-Sun Fruit Punch but less... intense? The flavour feels very watered down compared to the other flavours. It's not particularly carbonated, sweet or flavourful. Painfully mid.
Juiced Pacific Punch
Has an unusual coconut-y and mango flavour but mostly dominated by sourness. Reminds me of carbonated Capri-Sun Tropical.
Ultra Fantasy Ruby Red
Artificially sweet but doesn't taste like anything in particular. Reminds me of American candy, in a good way. It's not inspiring but it's not bad either.
Espresso Triple Shot
Strong espresso coffee with a slightly sour milky aftertaste. Has no distinct coffee notes and tastes pretty average.

Bad

These are cans that I do not enjoy and will hopefully never drink again.

Original
The original Monster Energy. Smells and tastes kinda like an Ola Rocket. It doesn't have much flavour to it.
Reserve Watermelon
Tastes like nothing, then hits with a really strong artificial sweet watermelon. Not great.
Nitro Super Dry
Unusual dry carbonated mouthfeel and flavour. Has a sour-ish fruity taste. Not something I'd want to drink again.
Juiced Bad Apple
Fizzy Granny Smith, not my favourite.
Ultra Violet
Smells and tastes like artificial berries (blueberry / raspberry possibly?) but in a bad way. Has that really awful artificial sweetener aftertaste.
Java Salted Caramel
Imagine the sweetest supermarket iced coffee, distil that, then add salted caramel syrup and you get an approximation of what this tastes like. I'm not sure why this is considered coffee; at best this is an excruciatingly sweet caramel milkshake.

Awful

Cans that I couldn't bring myself to finish.

Absolutely Zero [3]
Imagine Original, but worse. Has less flavour and a bad sour aftertaste. First can I did not finish. Big respect for the people who enjoy this one.
Juiced Rio Punch
Artificial gumball flavour with a awful plastic-y aftertaste. What I imagine battery acid would taste like. Genuinely awful.

Collection

Despite having drunk many different flavours, I'm still missing (at least) 21 flavours:

  1. Here in Europe.↩Jump back to footnote 1

  2. The Juiced series is called Juice in America, for example.↩Jump back to footnote 2

  3. This has been renamed to "Zero Sugar".↩Jump back to footnote 3

  4. This has been renamed to "Full Throttle Zero Sugar"↩Jump back to footnote 4